3. They've redefined rock stars in the worst way.
The band's original name was 'Starfish'. Besides the obvious horribleness of that fact, there are many things that just don't fit in with the rock star lifestyle. But, I mean, they try. Quote from Chris Martin: “Getting tattooed is brilliant. I got a few done in my 30s and it is the best ever - especially if you are married and can’t take drugs because the Daily Mirror might find out. I recommend getting a tattoo whether you are 70 or 12 - actually, maybe not 12, I think that might be a bit too young.” <1> What?!?! Say that again, please. You can't do drugs so you get tattoos?! Besides that, Martin drenches his hands in Sharpie before going on-stage with quotes about free trade. These self-inflictions are sometimes mistaken as tattoos. Well, I guess if the are as temporary as your ideals...
2.Everybody else wrote 'Viva La Vida'
Coldplay released 'Viva La Vida' and, mainly because of a creepy i-tunes commercial, made about a trillion dollars. In June of 2008, a man with an ironic mustache and his even more ironic indie song entitled 'The Songs I Didn't Write' claimed that this song was his. Not every artist will take it in the ass when someone steals their songs. Sarcastic asshole and great guitarist, Joe Satriani, is suing Coldplay for allegedly stealing his song, 'If I Could Fly'. Eh, either way, 'Viva La Vida' sucks and Apple used the only catchy part for the commercials.
1. Chris fucking Martin
The lead singer needs to spend more time finding a decent name for his kid than complaining about the war in Iraq at a cancer benefit. Apparently, he even sent front man of Oasis, Liam Gallagher, looking for razors to slit his wrist. <1>
Next time, we'll just get Liam drunk and watch Chris take a fire extinguisher to the face. <2>
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